Episode Fourteen

August 15, 2010

Skip Week Two

The Ballad of Squid Vicious

He was poached from the waters of the turbulent sea
And once caged, dead intent on being set free
They unanimously suspected him to be quite delicious,
But the sailers didn’t expect they had caught Squid Vicious.
With no intentions of being made dinner
He squeezed out of his cage and appeared much thinner
As the sailors all slept, Squid started a fire
And walked straight off the plank as the flames grew higher
As he squidded away, he chortled with glee
But his happiness was not yet to be
An earthquake nearby started a tsunami
And while some cried and called out for Mommy
The mighty Squid Vicious dove deep into the dark depths
While lesser sea creatures panicked and wept.
Not content to be surrounded by wussies,
He abandoned the sea with a “See ya later, pussies!”
Once upon dry land, he needed a job
So he answered an ad put out by the mob
At first the desk job on which he was placed
Seemed the perfect way to enter the rat race
But soon Squid was bored being stuck indoors
And got himself promoted to pimping out the whores
The night life treated him very well
Until that fateful night in which he fell
For one of the girls he was watching after
Something infectious about the sound of her laughter
And since she was the big boss’s daughter
They had to flee back into the water
After a year, they decided to get married
By a sea captain whose crippled ship he had once carried
Upon his back across the ocean
In trade for a very powerful potion
That would allow a human being to breathe
Under the deep dark depths of the vast sea
And so together they swam, in love and so sappy
In their underwater castle, ostensibly happy
A few years later, they had thousands of baby squids
But the missus soon fell to the madness of raising so many kids
So Squid Vicious sent the kids off to boarding school
And languished away the years like a drunken fool.
One day he returned to the place where she drowned
He growled, keeled over, and made no more sound.
They say he haunts that place to this very day
And no ship shall pass safely if Squid Vicious has his way.

posted as Skip Week filler for Sunday, August 15, 2010

Stay tuned for next week’s exciting installment. Rumor is the Mayor himself might make an appearance!

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