Welcome to the first skip week for Scurvytown. I decided to give myself a one-week break once I finished the 10th episode. This was to give my brain a rest, and to sort of re-group and figure out where to go from here.
By a great coincidence, I picked the perfect week to skip because it was stress city at my stupid day job. It seemed like every night was sort of filled with annoyances as well, for the most part, and the mood to write was all grrrr. Basically, I read instead, which was good for me.
On Friday night, I decided I really want to write *something* to act as filler, and once I had half a bottle of wine in me, the idea occurred to me. One of Captain Tullis’s hobbies has been alluded to: the lost art of letter writing (real letters, not emails). And so I decided that one of his letters would be perfect filler for this week.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to inform you of my severe displeasurement of the quality of your recent producks.
Previous producks have been quite good. Like those cute little cyber-ducks, which we set loose in the community swimming pool. Those little guys are still sputtering around even though it’s been like three months since we dumped them in there. I guess they are solar powered or something? I didn’t read the directions. Mrs. Cleaversmith’s poodle got attacked by one, but it was okay because it only gave the dog a fear of swimming so now we don’t have to clean pet fur out of the filter anymore. Of course, no one likes to go swimming in the community pool anymore, lest the ducks hit them with one of their electric charges, but I am getting off topic here.
The latest batch of producks I got were toilet-ducks, but the first time I flushed the toilet, they swam away and never came back. This is unacceptable. Again, I didn’t read the directions, but in the commercials, they are strong enough to handle a tsunami, so why these can’t handle a simple flushing toilet, is completely mind boggling.
I expect a full refund as soon as possible, or at least a replacement product.
All the best,
Captain Benjamin C. Tullis
This skip week writing was posted on Sunday, July 25, 2010.
Stay tuned for next week’s episode involving thrilling heroics, or severe delusions. One of those.